I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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