You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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