Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
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Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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