I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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