ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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