Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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