She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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