Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize