why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize