My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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