what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize