Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
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The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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