so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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