Welp...herpes.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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