He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
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You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
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Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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