2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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