I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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