i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
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Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
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New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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