Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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