Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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