Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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