I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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