Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I CAN MOONWALK!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Drake has all the answers
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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