Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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