No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize