im drinking this country out of the recession.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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