I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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