I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize