I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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