So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
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I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
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I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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