Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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