My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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