and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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