I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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