I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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