you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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