I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
honey bunches of taint.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize