i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize