I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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