I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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