He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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