My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize