My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize