we have pet lesbian snakes
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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