I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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