why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize