im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
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I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
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She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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