Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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