just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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