k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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